Impacts of Trauma & How We Engage People

Many people are dealt different hands in life. There are some people that end up being less fortunate in life. And, sadly, some people are born into trauma or have events in their lives that lead to circumstances that they cannot control.

Impacting trauma can, and does, affect many people in this world. Society may be quick to label them as not employable, not good at speaking or interviewing, or maybe even not productive members of society. These victims of trauma know the reasons why they seem unemployable, and why they don’t interview well. However, there are people quick to judge that do not understand, and all too often the victims suffer in silence.

Here are some instances that are beyond heartbreaking and devastating to me.

I have a 17-year-old Nephew who has been on SSI disability since he was 7 years old because of all the devastating trauma that he had been raised in. He was sent to the Oregon Youth Authority for some minor trouble he had gotten into. Because he was scared and traumatized, he felt safer wearing sunglasses, a mask, and a hood, always. He was beaten and ridiculed for this. No one was really preventing this from happening, but when the boy would eventually react, they would continue to fill his file with reports of misbehavior. He did most of his time and was set to stand before the releasing board, either to go to a better and more suitable group home where more of his mental health needs would be met, or even potentially get to go home and spend the remainder of his time at home on house arrest. However, because he was this traumatized, horrified, 17-year-old boy with his eyes and face covered, he did not interview well. He was told that he just was not placeable for such programs and was sent back to serve the remainder of his time ridiculed daily.

I ask you, is this right? Absolutely Not! Just one more blow to this boy’s self-esteem. He wonders if he was good would he then be placeable? That answer could very well be no because of outward appearances, or his not being up to par on interviewing and public speaking abilities.

This is why this child is this way: When traumatic exposure occurs during critical periods of a child’s development, the very core of their being is altered. Their entire sense of the world, and themselves, is turned upside down by this disorienting and terrifying experience. Children survive unthinkable abuse by “accommodating” to the abuse in a way that changes them developmentally. They develop with feelings of fear, distrust, shame, defeat, and resignation that shapes their self-image.

We are a society filled with individuals who have been affected negatively by our childhood abuse, sexual abuse, and neglect. Our experiences are not generally positive, and there is a new call to action to see childhood abuse as a public health issue. Let’s do what we can to make it easier for victims of impacting trauma to have normal lives.

This is another example that I have experienced, as well as witnessed. So, here I am living on the streets. Due to all the severe trauma that has been my life for so many years, and trying to survive those inner demons, I chose to quiet them with alcohol and drugs. The daily tasks I had to go through to get my body clean, to put on clean and dry clothes, or to be able to plug in a phone, if lucky enough to have one, were very difficult.

Do you know how deep I had to dig, or how deep so many others must dig, to reach a better place in our minds? To have any kind of strength, hope, or encouragement to try and change and better our lives? To find an organization to track down and pay for our birth certificates so we can obtain an identification card?

One morning I woke up freezing, and damp, in a cold tent in the woods, sick and tired. I thought “this is the day you are going to beat the streets and get a damn job!”. I would stop at nothing. The journey began first when I went to a free clothing closet to get something decent for a job search. Next, I went to the shell gas station bathroom to try and hurry and get myself clean, so that I wouldn’t smell horrible and get kicked out before I could introduce myself. The next step was to locate a shelter, or somewhere that would allow me to use their address and phone number on the applications. It was too bad there wasn’t a place I could go to round up some self-esteem. Ok, phew! Then I was all set to go off to the first place I go which might hire me, which was McDonalds. Hopefully they would give me half a chance.

I had no such luck. This went on all throughout the day, creating a more and more discouraged and hopeless feeling inside me around each turn. A surprise was waiting for me soon. “Wait, what! You will give me an interview?” I was so scared, nervous, with not an ounce of self-esteem. I went through all of that just to be told that my "interview did not go well”. They perceived me as shaky and fidgety, assumed that I must have been on drugs. “Sorry, you are just not what were looking for.” Sigh, I knew how hard I would work if just given the chance. I sat and imagined how much my life would change from just one “yes”. To be given a try but instead, SLAM! Say goodbye to that glimpse of a chance to get out of my situation.

Why is it that people in general do not treat people like myself, like my nephew, like homeless people, or victims of trauma, like they would everyone else? Do trauma victims have the ability to flip a switch so that all their trauma or circumstances are put on hold until they speak properly or interview perfectly? Don’t they deserve to be given a chance and talked to like human beings? Shouldn’t there be more doors available to be opened for them, more programs and opportunities? Can’t the world around them coddle them a bit? I have heard of second chance programs for ex-criminals, which I support because I am one. Can’t we have first chance programs for survivors of trauma?

Unlike simple stress, trauma changes your view of your life and yourself. It shatters your most basic assumptions about yourself and your world. The beliefs of “life is good, I’m safe, people are kind, I can trust others, or that the future is likely to be good” is replaced with dismal feelings such as, “The world is dangerous, I can’t win, I can’t trust other people, or that there is no hope." One of the things that pains me is that we have so tragically underestimated the trauma and the hardship we create in this country when we treat people unfairly.

70% of adults in the United States have experienced some type of traumatic event at least once in their lives. That’s 223.4 million people, and I am one of them, my nephew is one of them, and my street family is a part of this. I will do everything I can to make the journey from where I was then to where I am now much easier for other victims of trauma.